Wedding Speech From Feb 2007

Was just clearing out my hard drive, and found my wedding speech. If anyone cares to read it or remember it here it is:

Intro
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for coming, It is a real honour to share this experience with all of you today.

It is the happiest day of my life, and I really must thank Evelyn for pointing that out to me.

So last weekend Evelyn went out, Summer and Dad were asleep and mum was away. I decided it was a good time to write my speech. I searched the internet for material but unfortunately got distracted by websites of sport, computers and pornography. It was great but I ran out of time to find (suitable) material for the speech!

I did find out that wedding speeches should last about 7 minutes. Being a software developer I have been able to optimise it to take half that time.

Thanks
Seriously though I would like to start off with some thankyous.

Firstly to mum and dad, who we told we would be visiting last June for a holiday and where we now hold squatters rights.

I think it must have been great for them to find out that having supported all their children and thinking that they had all finally grown up and left home that they neednt be sad and lonely as like gremlins we can easily multiply and wreak havoc once again.

It has been a real pleasure to stay with them and without the free rent and other contributions the manner in which this wedding has taken place could not have occurred.

I would also like to mention Dai and Sally, it was through them that Evelyn and I first met. I still remember Dais late night drunken comments that night, he said “You were only supposed to shag(/snog) her, not fall in love with her”.

I would also like to thank them for visiting us in Rio whilst we travelled, for inviting us back for their wedding and for Dai giving me a hand job (er I mean a hand giving me a job!).

Thankyou to Marc and Jenni who have travelled over from Australia to be here with us today. I would further thank them not to mention the cricket/ashes.

History
Evelyn and I have been together for four and half years. In which time we have moved around a bit, travelled the world for a year, been partners in business as well as love, emigrated to a new country, had a beautiful daughter and finally bought a home together. Some people might think that marriage should have fitted in somewhere earlier in this chain of events. I think I just wanted to be sure this time.

Evelyn is a beautiful woman and a wonderful mother, who has an outgoing personality and always tries to intoxicate you in her ideas. Its one of those ideas where the first marriage proposal arose.

We were in Bolivia, it was rugby world cup time and just after England had beaten France but before the final with Australia.

This meant we had a week to find something to do before getting back to La Paz to see the final.

Having spent the first two days at altidudes over 5,500m on a Glacier climb and survived Evelyn decided we should head to a hotel with luxury natural hot springs. Great idea. The problem was that hotel transport only ran on days that meant we would have missed the rugby.

“No problemo” says Ev, we;ll get there anyway. With the aid of an old guide book a plan was hatched. As we started the locals told us it wasn’t possible. “The are lying or don’t understand” said Ev. We managed to convince a local bus to drop us off. “Don’t do it said the locals, it’s a 25km walk”. “Don’t worry said Evelyn we will hitch”. “Not possible they said”. “Don’t worry said Evelyn”.

So we bought a bottle of water and set off with full backpacks. Having walked for five hours and 20km, drunk all the water and been chased by dogs a supply truck finally came passed. This was the well needed lift we had been waiting for. Unfortunately there were three people filling all the space in the front. They offered us the roof. We accepted.

Having hoisted ourselves onto the tarpaulin the truck set off. It was now time for a very steep and windy decline. With the engine screaming to hold back in first gear, Evelyn who was lying down and in tears in her eyes asked that if we got out of it alive then would I marry her. (I said yes, but the timing wasn’t right. I didn’t want to marry in Bolivia!).

Time moved on and we moved to Australia. Feeling good about things we decided to have a baby. Shortly afterwards, on the 26th January 2005, which is Australia day, as the first fireworks were about to be let off over Perth I asked Evelyn to marry me. She thought Id had too many rum and cokes.

Since then there have been at least seven serious plans to arrange a wedding, I am truly amazed to be standing here right now. If Evelyn was a project manager she would be over time, over resourced and over budget, but at least the end product is worth it.

I really couldn’t ask for a better woman …. If I did shed kill me.

Toast
Thankyou for giving us so much pleasure by sharing our wedding day with us. Now will you all please join me in drinking a toast to our lovely bridesmade, Summer.

Hand over
I will now hand you over to my best man, Gareth who I have known for twenty years.

I would like to remind you that he is a car salesman, and today he’s selling you a story.

His hearts in the right place, its just his mind we cant find…..